The MANdate

I was just talking to a coworker who has been absent from the job for the last 4 weeks. Turns out, his father announced to the family that he was leaving his wife of over 27 years for a woman he'd met on a social networking site just 3 months before. The father said he'd been wanting to leave for the last 10 years and that this had absolutely nothing to do with anyone but him.

My coworker was hospitalized due to a heart infection soon after and had to take time off because of the stress.

Yet, the father claims his decision had nothing to do with anyone else but himself. He's both right and wrong about that.

1. His decision WAS all about him...acting selfishly.

2. Amazingly (but not surprisingly), his announcement and subsequent actions had varying effects on his son, his daughter and soon-to-be ex-wife. Yet it had nothing to do with anyone else.

The mandate of being a husband and father is often a thankless job, but, much like many of us who served in the military, we didn't do what we did just for ribbons and medals. The prize is wrapped up in the work of protecting and providing and guiding. Not many accolades to be gained or pats on the back to be had. However, to quote a Rolling Stones lyric and an old Job Corps commercial:

- “You can’t always get what you want / but if you try sometimes, you just might find / you get what you need.”

- “It’s the toughest job you’ll ever love.”

Men, I want you to realize that there’s no greater weapon than a man in his proper place. And we’re held not only to what we say with our mouths but to what we actually DO…especially when no one is watching. The lives and quality of life for our families hinge on our actions and inactions. What a heavy MAN-date that is! Are you man enough for the challenge?

Providence or Coincidence?

When I was a kid attending elementary school in Chicago, one of my teachers invited a writer to come talk to us. He didn't meet us in the makeshift auditorium (better known as the school gymnasium, which would be filled with chairs for big events) but met with a small group of students in the breezeway by the library. It may have been open to the kids who were interested in meeting a published author and I found myself there, hanging on his every word. He had a strange name which I'd never heard before or since then, until today.

I'm currently listening to Roger Ebert's memoir, 'Life Itself.' In talking about the people he knew, he mentioned Harry Mark Petrakis and the light came on in my head. THAT was the author who'd come to talk to us all those years ago.

I'd been trying to put together stories since I was a tyke. I spent many years drawing pictures, which became comic books, in order to convey my talespinning. When Petrakis visited, it was if he was talking directly to ME. I didn't care about all the other kids who seemed they weren't interested. I knew then I wanted to WRITE for a living. Over time, I concentrated more on stories instead of pictures and eventually stopped drawing altogether (some say it's a shame).

Well, I just found Petrakis's website and email address. I'm going to give it some thought over the weekend, but I'm going to drop him a line of thanks. Oh, I'm sure he won't recall some little awkward kid with an afro who hung onto his every word as if he was meeting a superstar. To me, he was. I guess maybe now I should pick up some of his books...